ThunderCougarFalconBird

Pretension-
1. A specious allegation; a pretext.
2. A claim to something, such as a privilege or right. See Synonyms at claim.
3. The advancing of a claim.
4. Ostentatious display; pretentiousness.

We are all pretentious fools. We try, and try, and try and try to emulate our favorite directors, writers, editors, films, photographs…
We sit in dimly lit bars and cafe’s spouting some riga ma roll about the collective works of Ingmar Bergman trying to relate them to Wes Anderson.
We absorb everything we hear and see and try to re-package it for whatever audience it may be for at that time. Your friends, family, peers, co-workers-
We are becoming photocopies of those we try to honor (imitate).

We are becoming the images we try to create.

I ask once again- is this so bad?

You have to fake it to make it.

And this is my excitement, and feeling of success so far in my internship. The feeling of finding out who or what I am, through the process of challenging myself to become who I want to be.

If we pretend for long enough that we are all pretentious directors giving our first interview about our latest debauchery of a film- then maybe one day, we too can deliver a steaming turd of creativity to the world.

Just because you can talk the talk though, does not mean you can walk the walk. Although common adage sense tells us “if it quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck- Then its a duck” It’s not 100% true. Are we humans or ducks? Are we our own eccentric creative souls? Or 2 legged animals with wings and beaks? So- what if you can not only talk the talk, but you can pretend to walk? Well then learn to run. Run towards the pretentious conversations on the other end of that glass of rolling rock, even if it means slurred words and dancing around your point for hours just so you can show off your knowledge of a thesaurus. RUN, don’t sprint, RUN, don’t walk. There is a light at the end of the tunnel- the re-birth of that image. That photo copy. That pretentious prick who spewed one too many words just to make himself feel creatively satisfied on some internet blog with upwards of 15 readers. The death of the photocopied moment that made you mimic him, her or it in the first place, and the re-birth of the new xeroxed and collated you.

So as you run the run, and yell the talk now that you’ve jumped the jump towards the end of the tunnel, find that one defining moment in and amongst the piles of words and creative inspiration- THEN HOLD ONTO IT. Don’t get lost in the ruins of someone else’s film. Do not forever reference that one moment in that art house flick that makes you feel something. Remember it, but forget about ever using it again. Make something yourself, that makes OTHERS feel something. Make new moments to build on the ones you’ve already found.

Who are you the image of now? Are you the image of the little known japanese propaganda director from the 40’s that you first drew inspiration from? Or are you now an image of yourself?

If your answer is the latter- correct, you are now an image of yourself. 
I am an image of me. A photocopy of everything I originally intended to be, only slightly more skewed. 
You are yourself. A carbon copy of the first image/inspiration you held onto. Only better.

This whole time you haven’t been just walking the walk, you’ve been running the race, trying to beat the others behind you towards the eventual goal of being able to speak from experience in a pretentious art-house manner. You have become everything that inspired you in the first place. The reason you wanted to fake it. You entered a situation with a pretense- The pretense of faking it until you make it. You have become pretentious. 

And ain’t it a wonderful thing? That you have become an image of yourself? An image of who ever that was that inspired you?

I have found this image, and I am well on my way to duplicating it, and xeroxing my life into becoming the end goal. The feeling of success is not new to me- but it has taken on a whole new meaning. It means that I have found a way to reach my end goal. By finding inspiration and assimilating it.

This whole post was assimilated, xeroxed over and over until there was not much left but a darkened pixelated grouping of words because of this- The Image Of Me

I am making good on my specious allegation.
I am claiming my privilege and right to achieve my goal.
I am advancing on all of the privileged specious claims I have made.
I am performing ostentatious displays on a grand stage for all to see.

I am a performer, 
I am a song and dance man, 
I am a trapeze artist high above the crowd forging a path ahead of me with the power of my work and abilities.

I am pretentious- isn’t it a wonderful thing?